


and gravity, scientists say, is weak

by victoria_p (musesfool)



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Satine lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 03:26:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10676727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/pseuds/victoria_p
Summary: "You're not the only one who's ever been in love, Anakin."





	and gravity, scientists say, is weak

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "What Binds Us" by Jane Hirshfield.

1\. 

Before he heads to Padmé's apartment, Anakin stops off at the quarters he still nominally shares with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka to change into clean clothes. Normally, he wouldn't bother, but Padmé doesn't like it when he gets engine grease on her furniture and he's currently covered in the stuff. 

When he opens the door, he's surprised to find Obi-Wan sitting at the table with a bottle of Tevraki whiskey in front of him and a mostly empty glass in his hand.

"I thought you'd be out on the town with your duchess girlfriend," Anakin says, teasing. 

"She's not my--" Obi-Wan stops and sighs, rubbing his forehead with his free hand. "I saw Satine--the duchess safely to the spaceport. After everything that's happened, she wanted to get back to Sundari as quickly as possible." 

"And you're so happy to see her go that you're sitting in the dark drinking?" Anakin sets the lights to their lowest setting--he's not going to sit in the dark and indulge Obi-Wan's penchant for brooding--finds a clean glass in the draining rack, and pours himself a drink. Then he sits on the stool next to Obi-Wan's. He takes a sip and can't help grimacing. "I don't know how you drink this stuff."

"This is very fine whiskey, my very young padawan," Obi-Wan replies repressively, but Anakin can feel his amusement in the Force. "Better you don't acquire a taste for it, though. It's also very expensive whiskey." 

"How did you come by it then, my very old master?"

"The Duchess made a gift of it to me, to thank me for--" He waves a hand. "Everything."

"Oh?" Anakin asks, raising an eyebrow. "Showed her a good time, did you?"

"Anakin," Obi-Wan chides, but he rolls his eyes while he does it, robbing it of any sting.

Anakin laughs, takes another small sip of whiskey, and wrinkles his nose. "Seeing her really did a number on you, huh?"

Obi-Wan lets out another sigh, this one more melancholy than exasperated. "Yes," he finally admits, long after Anakin had given up hope he'd say anything at all. "Seeing her again, letting her go again." He takes another sip and then holds his glass between his palms. "It was hard, harder this time than the last, and I still don't know if it was the right thing to do." He shakes his head. "Then or now."

Anakin freezes, his own glass halfway between his mouth and the table. Obi-Wan is rarely so forthcoming; he must be really shaken. Luckily, Obi-Wan is still staring down at his hands and doesn't notice Anakin's startlement. 

Anakin sets his glass down gently and says, "Obi-Wan. What are you talking about?"

Obi-Wan's mouth curls into a grimace and he lets out a little huff of disdain. "We spent a year together, on the run from assassins and bounty hunters. We were sixteen, seventeen? I'm not even sure anymore." He waves a hand airily, but he's lying. Anakin knows he knows exactly how old they were; knowing Obi-Wan, he probably knows it down to the hour and the minute. "I would have left, if she'd asked." He knocks back the rest of his drink. "She knew that, and I think that's why she didn't."

Anakin would like to blame the whiskey for the difficulty he's having processing that. "Left?" he manages, his voice cracking in a way it hasn't since he was fourteen. "The Order? You?"

Obi-Wan gives him a withering look. "You're not the only one who's ever been in love, Anakin."

"I didn't mean--I never thought--"

"No, I don't suppose you did." Obi-Wan shakes his head in apology and his tone is softer on his next words. "Nor should you have."

"You never spoke of it." Obi-Wan had rarely spoken of his own time as a padawan, and Anakin had treasured the few stories he'd been told. Clearly he should have pressed for more.

Obi-Wan heaves another sigh. "It didn't exactly redound to my credit." He laughs softly. "I was so young when you became my apprentice. I wanted to show I was worthy of Qui-Gon's request, and to prove the Council wrong about training you."

"Well, you did," Anakin says, clapping him on the shoulder. "And you should know, I wouldn't have thought less of you." 

"Thank you," Obi-Wan says. He wrinkles his nose at the smear of grease Anakin's left on his shoulder. "Now weren't you about to go have a shower?"

Anakin laughs. He pours what's left of his drink into Obi-Wan's glass and stands. "I'm on my way." He's got a lot to think about now, and maybe to discuss with Padmé--she seems to know the duchess pretty well. The duchess had seemed like kind of a handful in the little he'd seen of her, but if she makes Obi-Wan happy....And maybe that would mean that Anakin would no longer have to keep his own marriage a secret, at least from his former master and closest friend. Maybe Obi-Wan wouldn't turn him in to the Council, after all. He's practically giddy at the thought of it.

Anakin pauses in the doorway. "Thank you for telling me," he says, and Obi-Wan waves him away with a wry half-grin.

*

Anakin gets distracted and never ends up mentioning Obi-Wan's confession to Padmé. He has better things to think about in the brief hours they spend together. Still, he doesn't forget. Even as a small part of him--the part that's still a clingy nine-year-old boy who doesn't like sharing Obi-Wan's attention with anyone--is a little miffed by the revelation, mostly he's glad to know that even Obi-Wan Kenobi isn't perfect. It might be Anakin's face on the holonews all the time, but within the Temple walls, it's Obi-Wan everyone (even Anakin, though he won't admit it out loud) aspires to be like, and to know that even he has doubts about his place in the Order--it's a kind of vindication Anakin never thought he'd get. And to have Obi-Wan admit it--well, it warms Anakin deeply to know he has Obi-Wan's trust.

*

2\. 

Even consumed by his own grief and rage, Anakin's brain keeps stumbling over the sight of Satine Kryze, Duchess of Mandalore, sobbing wretchedly at Obi-Wan's funeral. 

He's never been good with crying women--that's always been Obi-Wan's or Ahsoka's job when they're dealing with civilians. He can barely comfort his own wife, and he'd be jealous of _her_ tears if they were for anyone but Obi-Wan. If he weren't so upset himself. But the duchess feels like a black hole of grief and regret in the Force, and none of the platitudes offered by Master Yoda or Master Plo seem to ease her pain.

Padmé herds them back to her apartment for lunch--him and Ahsoka, Bail Organa and the duchess--after Obi-Wan's body has been committed to the light. 

No one has much appetite, and they all drink a little too much wine. 

"I should have asked," Satine finally says, horribly pale and composed. She's spent the entire meal pushing her food around on her plate without eating any of it. Anakin knows because he's done the same.

"He would have said yes," Anakin replies, even as Padmé glances at him in surprise.

"I know," Satine says over the rim of her wineglass. "I didn't want to make him choose. I didn't want him to come to hate me for it later." She takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders. "I should have. If I had, he'd still be alive, even if we weren't--together."

"There's no way you can know that," Padmé protests. "You can't blame yourself." She shoots another look at Anakin, and he knows her words are meant for him as well.

Satine responds by finishing her wine in one long gulp and signaling Threepio to refill her glass.

He should say something--Ahsoka is looking to him for guidance and he's a _Jedi_ , he shouldn't be at a loss for words in these situations, even though words were never his talent; there's a reason Obi-Wan did most of the negotiating when they were together. He should remind them that the Republic is at war, that they're all at risk every day. He should say that sometimes even the best Jedi are overmatched, that even they can be defeated and killed. He should tell them it was the will of the Force, which Obi-Wan lived to serve. But he can't. He won't. He doesn't believe any of that, and he won't lie, not even to offer comfort to his wife and her friends. He can't be comforted, and no one else should be, either.

*

"I'm glad you didn't make me choose," Anakin whispers fiercely into the soft, scented nest of Padmé's hair as he cradles her sleeping form in his arms. He should say that he would choose her--he thinks he would have, if she'd demanded it--but he's relieved he's never had to make the choice. He doesn't know how Obi-Wan managed it. 

He files it away as just one more thing he'll never understand about the man, where it gets buried under his anger when he finds out he's been deceived. 

*

3\. 

Anakin's just finished rewiring the navicomputer and begun unscrewing the flight control panel to work on the temperature gauges when Obi-Wan comes pounding up the boarding ramp and flings himself into the pilot's seat. 

They're breaking out of atmo when Anakin finally asks, "New mission, Master?"

Obi-Wan blinks, startled, as if he's just realized Anakin is there. "No. Yes." He shakes his head. "Not officially." 

Anakin raises his eyebrows in a silent question.

"Please tell me the hyperdrive is operational," is all the answer he gets.

"Yeah," Anakin says. "All tuned up and everything. Where we going?"

"Mandalore." Obi-Wan's mouth pinches beneath his beard. "You'd better strap yourself in."

"Oh," Anakin says. "It's going to be one of those."

"Yes," Obi-Wan replies. "I rather think it is."

*

Anakin argues that he should be the one to break into the prison to free the duchess, but it's more to keep Obi-Wan's mind off whatever awful thing is probably happening to her than because he really thinks he should be the one to do it. The Council would say he should. They'd say Obi-Wan is compromised by his emotions, that he is too attached and his judgement is clouded, but Obi-Wan is as focused and determined as Anakin has ever seen him.

They knock out the guard in the landing bay and Obi-Wan pulls on his armor. It's weird seeing him in it--when the war first started, he sometimes wore bracers and greaves, but he hasn't bothered with that in years. The fact that they can measure the war in years now makes something sour stir in Anakin's stomach. He ignores it in favor of heckling Obi-Wan, who is so far up his own ass that he doesn't even respond with a scold. 

Instead he says, "Stay here and keep the engine running. I don't want to fight if we can run."

And normally Anakin would argue with that too, because there's little he likes less than running from a fight, even one of Obi-Wan's patented strategic retreats, but he can feel how on edge Obi-Wan is. It reminds him of how he feels whenever Padmé is in danger, and he bites back his smart remarks.

"Be careful," he says instead, wrapping a hand around the nape of Obi-Wan's neck and pressing their foreheads together, willing him to relax, to release his anxieties into the Force so he can better concentrate on his mission. 

Some of the tension leaves his shoulders, though his answering smile is more a sharp baring of teeth. "Always." He squeezes Anakin's wrist before pulling away. "You stay out of trouble."

"I'll try."

Obi-Wan puts his bucket on, but Anakin can still hear his muffled, "There is no try," as he walks away. Anakin doesn't respond verbally, but he makes an obscene gesture that earns him spurt of amusement through the Force.

He spends the interim mind-tricking various port authorities into ignoring the Twilight and trying not to crawl out of his own skin. There's something not right here, something pinging in the Force that's setting all his senses on edge, and when Obi-Wan and Satine come rushing up the boarding ramp, he's ready to get the hell out of there.

"Man the guns," he snaps at Obi-Wan. "I'll fly us free."

Satine looks like she wants to argue, but Anakin thinks that just might be her regular face, so he ignores her. The wrongness in the Force has grown stronger, deep and cold and oily like--

"It's Maul," Obi-Wan says, confirming his suspicions. "He's in league with the Shadow Collective."

"The what?" Anakin asks, only half-paying attention as he jukes and dekes to avoid cannon fire. 

Obi-Wan destroys first one and then another gun emplacement, but there are still a bunch of Mandalorians in jetpacks zipping around and shooting at them.

"The Pykes, the Hutts, Black Sun," Satine says, acid in her voice. "The Death Watch, as well. Everything I've worked so hard to build, and it's all burning down around me." Her hair hangs limply over her shoulders, long since fallen out of whatever fancy hairdo she'd had it up in, and on her face is an expression of anger and heartbreak that resonates down to the soles of Anakin's boots, but her shoulders are squared and her chin is lifted in defiance. Anakin can see why Obi-Wan likes-- _loves_ \--her.

"But you're still alive to fight another day," Anakin responds. "That's got to count for something."

She looks skeptical but nods as she straps herself into the seat behind him. "I suppose it'll have to do."

"Lightspeed, Anakin," Obi-Wan says over the comm as their rear left stabilizer takes a solid hit. "Now would be good."

"Nag, nag, nag," Anakin mutters, but he shoves the lever forward and the Twilight makes the jump cleanly.

*

4.

After reaching Coruscant, they stop only long enough to use a 'fresher before escorting Satine to a special session of the Senate called to discuss the situation on Mandalore. She's washed her face and run a comb through her hair, but she still looks like a woman who's been held captive twice in the past week and left her planet with blaster fire at her back. Obi-Wan offers her his arm but she walks into the rotunda with her shoulders squared proudly and her back ramrod straight. 

The Senate is in an uproar. Which is nothing new, but it's giving Anakin a headache. Satine stands tall and alone in Mandalore's repulsor pod and listens as the Senate, with few exceptions (Naboo and Alderaan among them), tells her to seek comfort from the Council of Neutral Systems in her exile.

"They have no comfort, nor any aid, to give," she replies. "And neither, I see, do you."

Various Senators are attempting to take the floor as she exits, head held high.

Later, in Padmé's office, she turns to Obi-Wan. "This was a mistake." She cups his cheek in an intimate display of affection that makes Anakin seek out his wife's startled gaze. "I should never have involved the Republic, or you."

"Nonsense," Obi-Wan says bracingly, but he has to know they're both in for a reprimand, if not outright censure, from the Council, and maybe even from Chancellor Palpatine himself. He presses a kiss to Satine's palm as if none of that matters anymore. Maybe it doesn't.

"You can stay with me if you don't want to be alone," Padmé offers graciously.

Anakin bites back a protest--a houseguest would severely cut back on the already limited amount of time he's able to spend with her--and forces himself to smile welcomingly.

Obi-Wan raises a curious eyebrow at him but says, "Thank you, Padmé, but she won't be alone." 

And now it's Anakin's eyebrows that are raised. "Obi-Wan?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan says with a sigh, "I suppose we must get our stories straight before we see the Council. Ladies, if you'll excuse us." He drops another kiss to the back of Satine's hand before relinquishing it. "I will see you later, Satine."

"Of course," she replies, the faint color in her cheeks making her suddenly look less desolate.

Anakin aches to press kisses to Padmé's hand (among other places), but he reluctantly confines himself to a bow instead. She inclines her head with a small smile and a glint in her eyes that says she knows exactly what he's thinking.

*

Obi-Wan is silent on their walk through the corridors of the Senate building, and on the speeder ride back to the Temple. Only when they've reached their quarters and he's poured himself a glass of his expensive whiskey does he speak.

"I will ensure the Council knows you acted at my behest," he says. "The consequences of my rash actions shouldn't fall upon you, Anakin."

"Thank you," Anakin says automatically, thrown. "Are you--" He thinks about having a glass of whiskey himself before he goes for the jogan juice instead. "Did she ask?"

"Not in so many words," Obi-Wan admits. "Not yet. But I don't think I'm going to wait this time."

Anakin stares at him, shocked speechless, drink forgotten.

"I can't go before the war is over," he continues. "I won't leave you or Ahsoka or the men like that. And there is still the Sith to root out, and Maul to finish off." He takes a long sip of his drink. "And maybe by that point she won't want me, and I won't want her. Though the latter is highly unlikely." He huffs a nervous little laugh and shrugs a shoulder nonchalantly, as if he isn't talking about turning the entire galaxy upside down. "Always in motion, the future is." His mouth twists. "The Force has its own plans for us that we may never understand. But this feels like the right path for me, clearer than it's been in years."

Anakin grimaces. "But Obi-Wan--" If Obi-Wan is going to be reckless, maybe it's his turn to be cautious. He examines the idea for a moment, and then casts it aside. Caution has never suited him. 

Obi-Wan pins him with a gimlet-eyed stare. "Really, Anakin? Are _you_ going to lecture _me_ about attachment?"

Anakin laughs. "I wouldn't dream of it. But--" He fiddles with the clasps of his glove, swallows hard, and then forces himself to meet Obi-Wan's gaze. "There are some things I should probably tell you." He hopes Padmé forgives him for making this decision unilaterally, but there will probably never be a better time for it.

"Oh, this ought to be good," Obi-Wan says, stroking his beard. Anakin stiffens and Obi-Wan shakes his head. "My apologies, Anakin. I don't mean to make light of your confession. These past few days--few years, honestly--have been...trying, to say the least, and I feel lightened, almost unburdened, by my decision." He pats the couch cushion next to him. "Come and sit, my friend. I'm sure whatever your trouble, we'll find a way to work through it together."

The Force chimes with a clarity and closeness Anakin hasn't felt in a long time when he sits down beside Obi-Wan, takes a deep breath, and opens his mouth to finally tell him the truth.

end

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] and gravity, scientists say, is weak](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13102308) by [knight_tracer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knight_tracer/pseuds/knight_tracer)




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